Confession Im stuck. - When I Grow Up

Confession Im stuck. - When I Grow Up Inspirational Card from Nightly Doodles I wrote this on October 15th and have been keeping it in draft form. Now that Im on the other side and have decided communicated what to do with my Clubhouse with the existing members- I thought Id post it even though it scares me.  Its always scary to be vulnerable and expose that you dont always have your shit together, but so is my way. Its why I have this blog. Its why I do this work. Its what I want to encourage and bring to the surface. Things are NOT always shiny on the other side of your laptop, and the business owners you follow do NOT come to their business decisions quickly or easily very often. Heres how I got through my latest hurdle. Im stuck. It feels weird. Its so unlike me. Sure, I can be  indecisive. Or unsure.   But stuck? Figuratively paralyzed? Not making a move or a plan or a decision? Its not me. Im at a crossroads here. Thanks to my CreativeLive class and  Playing Big, Ive got a longer term vision for When I Grow Up thats, well, bigger than I have ever thought of before. Ive written a book proposal that Ill be shopping around to agents and looking to sell. Ill want to license my work and bring it into our school system. I see myself speaking at events and corporations, allowing us all to create our dream career  based around our lifestyle needs. And all these things? Not only are they big. And scary. And really unknown. But they also take a long-ass time to create, build, and grow. And in the meantime, what do I do? I know for sure that I always coach one-on-one. Always. Its my favorite part of my business, and I honestly wish it could be something that would be more scalable for me. Instead, I know  the only way to scale this offer is to keep raising my prices, and while I havent done that in too long, its not sitting well with me. Not right now, at least. Once we get the baby  a part-time nanny, Ill be able to really see how many clients I can take at once instead of just guessing, which is what I feel Im doing now. What do I do with my Clubhouse?  The whispers are telling me to open the (virtual) doors again softly, just to those whore on the list and expressed an interest. The louder voice is telling me to close it completely and bring the Clubhousers into my free Facebook  group, made up of those who took my  CreativeLive class . It would mean that the Clubhousers wouldnt get as much input from me and wouldnt have monthly group calls, but theyd have 150+ more allies in the goal of igniting their passionate, grown-up careerand I can always offer free or paid coaching that they can opt-in to. That feels the best to me, but logistically, its a bit of a nightmare. Everyone has a different day they came in, and they pay quarterlyso Ill have to find the best date to make the switch and minimize the refund. Its so interesting that, the last time I thought to close the Clubhouse, I decided against it because it was essentially bringing in $100/hour for me. Right now, I dont care about that. I trust t hat money will come to me in other ways, and will allow me to make time for the other things that are a Hell Yes for me. And Career Campmy baby. Man oh man, did I spend so much time and care crafting that program. Its my calling card, and yet I feel theres something holding it back from hitting  big. Is it the timeframe of the course that it lasts for 3 months? Is it the price point? Would it be better or worse to offer an additional option to purchase one-on-one coaching before we even start? I want to bring this to the masses and be involved in the growth of my campers, but because Im second-guessing some of the structural pieces Im just not sure. And the timing too when would be the best time for this to run? Would it be silly or smart to start next month, or do I need to wait until the credit card statements from the holidays are paid off? Im just not sure. Ooh, Grown Up Gigs, too. I just love having those interviews, but is hosting them live on Spreecast even worthwhile anymore? I love the aspect that the audience can be so involved, but turnout is never very big and the audience is often pretty quiet. Would this be more impactful as a podcast? Is that something Id even want to do? - Its been hard for me to quiet the shoulds, but I notice them all the time. For so long Ive had the goal of breaking 6 figuresand while my revenue does keep growing, Im not there yet. It makes me feel like Im doing something wrong. This is usually the time I run to hire someone to save me. A marketing person, a PR person, a social media maven. But I want to do this from my own gut, my intuition, my own advice. I want to simply! just do whats best for me. To not overcomplicate. To not plan the whole year in advance. To not feel the stress of launching. I want to just do what I feel is right and  trust that the money will flow and the impact will land. Its so much easier said than done. I was included recently in a list: 25 Career Blogs You Dont Want to Miss. I was honored to be amongst so many of those that I admire (hi Pam  and Miriam and Jenny and Penelope!), but what made the biggest impact on me was how John described my business: Unlike most of the bloggers on this list, Michelle focuses not on finding a great job, but on building a lifestyle business in order to escape the corporate environment.   Her blog is geared towards women who have decided that traditional jobs simply don’t offer the enjoyment or work-life balance they were hoping for; she offers tips on building income as a freelancer or small business owner, as well as getting by at your day job while building your side business. THIS is what Ive been struggling to articulate. After my CreativeLive course, it was apparent to me that my sweet spot and expertise is in helping creative women build their passionate, grown-up  business.  While Ive always known that about 85% of those I work with wind up doing something entrepreneurial, Ive been scared to call it out for (a) fear of scaring off those who are not yet aware that thats what they want to do and (b) because I dont wanna shout from the rooftops that being an entrepreneur is the best thing for everyone to do. But ya know what? Im not scared anymoreand Im a shouter by nature. I wont say that  everyone needs to be an entrepreneur, but the women I work with? Who want to wake up in the morning and know that whatever they have going on that day is full of stuff theyre gonna enjoy? That theyve made a difference in the lives of others and feel personally fulfilled? That is usually done best by working for yourself. So, what needs to happen right now? My braindump: Go back and fill in the blanks for your monthly money spreadsheet for 2014. Have a Big Finance Meeting with Luke and see what you need to bring in now. Figure out how to wrap-up the Clubhouse. Look into what itd take to start a podcast. Work with Jeremy on branding stuff, and do his homework. Keep up with book proposal query letters, design, finding an agent. Figure out a new way to have monthly business check-ins quicker and easier. That was the end of the draft. A braindump and lots of clarity. A No to my dear Clubhouse and a way to close its doors proudly and ethically. A Yes to the Grown Up Gigs podcast and moving forward with my new branding consultant, Jeremy. Putting my book proposal as a priority (as opposed to it being in the When I Get Time For It pile, which its been for years and never sees the light of day). I had my meeting with Luke and projected my income through the end of the year, and now that my one-on-one client spots are sold out, I can breathe a lot easier. I still need to find a better way to do my monthly check-ins, but Im not stressed about it. I also know that the start of another round of Career Camp will be right around the corner, but I still have to figure out the timing. I cant really figure it out until we get that nanny for the baby for at least 10-15 hours/week. Now, I feel back to myself. Still yearning for more time to work, but absolutely enjoying all the time I have with Baby Girl and feeling back on track. A much slower track, but one that will absolutely be worth the time it takes to complete the journey.